There isn’t a single human being, on this planet, who doesn’t desire intimacy. To be intimate is to experience deeply connected expressions of love where two individuals feel as one. It is a heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul, mind-to-mind connection; Divinely choreographed like an exquisite ballet. Every nuance and grandiose expression is connected energetically, where what is experienced by one is felt, heard, seen and expressed by the other. Everyone has experienced intimacy whether for a life time or during brief fleeting moments. It is the spark of excitement and complete acceptance which makes its way to the core of each soul. This is why intimacy…a Divine expression of love, is the most real experience anyone can have.
THE FIRST INTIMATE EXPERIENCE
One of the first experiences of intimacy happens with your birth mom. In the womb through the birth canal or directly delivered from the uterus into this world, you are connected to your biological mom. Every breath she took, feelings she had, thoughts and ideas that crossed her mind, and the sounds she made, you experienced fully; synchronizing your patterns with hers. This is why consciously or unconsciously you knew, while growing up, what pushed her buttons and how she could be manipulated to do or get what you wanted. Even if you weren’t raised by your birth mom, you bonded with her until you had the opportunity to bond with someone else; most likely the person who became your environmental mom. But moms are not the only family members you experienced intimacy with. Your siblings, dad, grandparents and extended family members, again whether biological or environmental, you formed deep connections with. Some you may have developed closer relationships with than others but all of them serve as secondary intimate sources of intimate bonding.
INTIMACY CREATES HEALTH AND WELLNESS
When you’re intimate with someone it’s an exchange of loving energy. Every form of energy constitutes the Divine essence of love. Now I know what you’re thinking; “What about those people or things that are considered dark, evil, horrible and bad; what about them? Are they aspects of love too?” The answer is Yes, they are! Just because some of those energies is judged as being away from or against God, doesn’t mean they are. All energies work for the highest good of Divine Source if you but allow it to do so by opening your mind and shifting your perspective. But, I digress.
Because being intimate is an open exchange of conscious loving energy between two or more people it promotes healing. Health and wellness are terms used to describe states of being in love emotionally; present clarity mentally, a well-balanced body physically and lighthearted effervescence soulfully. All of this means you feel great, clear, strong and remain open to the truth of living in continual peace and joy. When intimacy is experienced your soul is recognized and spirit is seen as being who you really are. It surpasses judgment, conditional circumstances, and personality type. The excited feeling from this type of acknowledgement helps to release endorphins making it easier to connect directly with your core self and that is absolute Divine Love. And of course Divine Love cures all that ails you emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.
An example of this is described in one couple’s story which I heard about today. Two young people at the ages of seventeen met and fell in love. A year later they decided to get married. Now, at the age of ninety-nine years old, they have been married to each other for eighty-one years. The wife required medical care beyond what her loving husband could give so she was forced, by the doctors, to go into a senior assisted living facility. After being there for six months her health declined more and more until there was question about whether she would live much longer. Her husband, being physically healthier and who had no need to be in the facility, decided to move in with her. After only two months of being together her health started to improve remarkably. It continued until she was greatly improved. She has lived, so far, ten years longer than the doctors expected. There’s no doubt the loving intimate relationship she and her husband share is what’s kept her and him alive. This year they will not only celebrate being one hundred years old, they will also celebrate eighty-two years of marriage as well. Their shared intimacy is a great formula for health, well-being and longevity.
FEAR OF INTIMACY CREATES BLOCKS
Usually the idea of intimacy is associated with romantic partners, even though I mentioned previously that intimacy happens between any individuals who are deeply connected. But, in the cases of romantic intimacy most people, and I’m sure you too, have had unpleasant experiences with love. You’ve probably been hurt when someone broke up with you; or when they seemingly rejected you on some level, no matter what the reason. As a result, the norm is to devise ways of bringing up and keeping a wedge between you and the other person, be it consciously or unconsciously. Some of these clever antics include: avoidance of the other person; criticism; all forms of abuse; controlling him or her; anxiety – intense high alert behavior; passive aggressive behavior; infidelity; brutal judgment; etc. The list goes on and on. But whether you are aware of what keeps intimacy at bay or not it leads to feelings of being disconnected and starved for love which causes depression and loneliness.
WHAT IT TAKES TO HAVE INTIMACY
So, what does it take to have intimacy…a Divine expression of love? Well, it really doesn’t take much. Here are a few things you can do:
1. Tell the person “I Love You!” as often as you think about it.
2. Show appreciation in ALL things the other person does by saying “Thank You!” or demonstrating in a thoughtful way your gratitude.
3. Always speak from your heart. Say the words that are the real essence of what you are experiencing with that person, from a compassionate place.
4. Express what lies underneath any harsh thoughts with caring. Don’t say petty things like; “You keep leaving the top off the toothpaste” in a nasty way. Share how their behavior makes you feel and why. Then determine if that person is on the same page as you in honoring your desires, without making him or her wrong for their feelings.
5. Everyday make a point of looking into each other’s eyes and express exchanged loving thoughts about your partner.
6. Resolve your differences from an empathetic place.
7. Ensure, before you go to bed, any anger and resentment toward the other person is released as much as possible.
8. Forgive your partner and yourself often – even if you don’t think you need to. Here’s a quick exercise for forgiveness: http://bit.ly/UKBL7A
9. Spend quality time with each other. Go on a date once a week or create a romantic rendezvous even if it’s in your home. Get creative and have fun planning it together.
10. Consciously honor and respect each other in every way – validate what s/he is feeling, thinking, and does when it comes from her/his best self.
11. Having an agreement and keeping it to do points 1 – 10 will ensure deep intimacy as an expression of Divine Love.
Love is you. Love flows through you. Love is expressed by you. Creating and maintaining intimacy is the quintessential way of connecting with Divine Love.
Lynne Herod-DeVerges, founder Center of Light Miracles
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